All we do is talk, sit, switch screens

new journal

2008-07-08T16:47:43Z

whisper_life
I feel like it's time for a change, that's all.
I just want to start this over, so add my new journal if you'd like.

And any postcards/letters I owe you should be out shortly! Sorry about that. :)

my crazy life

2008-06-13T18:48:14Z

I'm baaaack. And I was mainly gone due to my crazy life.

Here's what happened in the smallest nutshell available.

1) My birthday... woo. I don't really care about birthdays, but the cake was good.
2) My grandparents agreed to help host some international students who were in St. Louis sight seeing from Illinois. They stayed at my grandparents for one night. I, excited as always by the prospect of new, foreign people, stayed the night also. We didn't know who they were or where they were from until we went to pick them up. I was hoping they'd speak french, for practice's sake. We got there, and the entire group was Chinese, except for two people from the Congo, who we had been randomly assigned to. "Coincidence," much. It was fun, they were really nice. My grandparents were really happy I had come, too, because I spoke french better than they spoke english and many misunderstandings were thus averted. :)
3) Job. I have a job. Because I was bored and wanted something to do over the summer. I have a job at a new, really nice arab restaurant that's not open yet. The couple who owned it had a private party for their daughter there, though, so I worked that night. It was fun.
Mini-stories from the night I worked:
a. One of the cousins, who must have been in his early twenties, got drunk really early in the night. I forget how I heard first, but his mother had told him to go away and that he was a disgrace to the family. (And don't take this all too seriously.) So he came back and hung out in the kitchen, and says, "My mom told me I was a disgrace to the family, but she's the most beautiful woman in the world. I love my mom. She's amazing...." And then he went on for at least ten minutes about what a wonderful woman his mom was. He was also really impressed that i could say his name right; he kept making me repeat it. Apparently most Americans can't say Ahmed.
b. I was wearing my cedar necklace (cedar as in cedar of Lebanon), and this woman stopped me, looking really happy, and said, "Oh, you're Lebanese!" So while I was explaining to her my relation to Lebanon and the fact that I wasn't really Lebanese but my dad had spent his entire childhood there... Jamal (my boss, who absolutely adores me and insists that as long as I work in his restaurant he'll be my second father) comes up smiling, saying, "She's Lebanese! Lebanese! We got a Lebanese girl to work here!" :P
4) I've been sick. Stupid sinuses. Ug. I think I'm kind of getting over it, but not entirely.
5) I still don't know about my dad's job hunting situation. The bank wanted him to take their original offer, and he was trying to see if they could up it by $1000 a month, but we haven't heard back yet.
6) Oh yes! A post card came from kill_the_onions and I got a letter from explodethestars. There's just so much love coming out of Turkey. ♥

That wasn't a very small nutshell.

So anyway, to make up for yet another absence, have some Grace Deeb. I love Grace Deeb, and this is one of my favorite songs.

Grace Deeb - Ghenneyat
by ihyana

ma vie

2008-05-29T16:14:35Z

My heart starts beating so fast the moment you sign in.
So what will it be like, in person, after two years?
God, what a mess!
But a beautiful mess.

And things have been turning out so nicely recently. Even bad things that have happened have ended up working in our favor, to the point that it's almost funny. I love the feeling you get when the universe is moving to better you. I truly believe that things want to unfold to help you; you just have to be willing to accept that help and believe that such things are possible.

I feel like the world is about to take a turn for the better. Not just my world, but the world. Of course, with the way things have been in recent years, almost anything would be better. =P

mmmm, baklawa

2008-05-28T16:55:11Z

My dad came back from Beirut on Sunday.
He brought baklawa, movies, music, books, T-shirts from AUB, and a bunch of other nice things. It was more exciting than Christmas.
It really does sound like he made a lot of progress, given the situation. He has a whole list of people to talk to now. The good news is that according a major head hunting agency he talked to, there's a huge demand for programmers in Lebanon. We've yet to hear back from the bank, but not many working days have passed (they're off half of saturday, then all of sunday and monday).

I've decided I need to keep myself occupied this summer. This means getting up before noon, unlike last summer, cleaning, and putting myself in a few self-instructed classes of sorts. I have two french books that my teacher gave me when she was cleaning out her room that will do nicely for studying French this summer. I have a mountain of books for Arabic that I've been given by various sources that I should finally make use of, now that I have the time. I also think I'll read the book my dad brought back on the history of modern Lebanon--it's rather dry, but it's stuff I want to know. And probably need to know, if I'm ever going to understand that crazy place.

I have a few parties to go to in the last half of the week. I don't know. I'm feeling kind of anti-social right now. Not in a bad way, just in a way where I'd prefer my own thoughts or a few people to a party full of people.

We went over to visit our family friend yesterday. His wife and kids moved back to Lebanon a month or two ago because they just couldn't stand it here (Yeah. It's that bad.), and he says he's been kind of depressed without them. He's working on finding a job there too, but not having much luck. Sites like monster.com, monster gulf, hirelebanese.com, and bayt.com just don't do it. You really need to network and find people, I guess.

The bright side is everyone we've talked to is very optimistic about the situation in Lebanon. The general consensus is that Lebanon has bought itself stability for at least a few more years, and inshallah things can be worked out so it's stable forever. But we'll see. :)

the end of something wonderful

2008-05-24T22:10:56Z

Yesterday was the last day of school. While I am relieved, I'm more sad than anything. Not knowing whether or not I'll come back is probably the reason. I kept looking around, thinking, "This could be the last day I'm ever here as a student." But still, it didn't--and still doesn't--feel like school's really over. The part that is the main source of sadness isn't really not seeing my friends. I know I'm going to see them again, even if we move. I'll make sure of it, and so will they. The said part really is not knowing if I'll ever see my teachers again.

Haha, nerdy, right? Well, the teachers I'm sad about I've had for at least the past year--but the majority of them the past two years. Even if I stay here, I won't have them for any more classes because they either don't teach upperclassmen or I've taken all of the classes they teach already. But if I leave, I'll probably never even see them again. And these people have had such an affect on me for the past few years; they've gone beyond the curriculum to teach about life. I've learned so much from them and they're really important to me.

I went up to my English teacher's class after my health 'final' (not really a final, and all too easy. My health teacher had let me go when I was done, which was about ten minutes into class). She teaches all of the Honors English classes for my grade, so I had a bunch of friends in her class, which was a class of only about twelve. The final she was having us do was write poetry, which we did outside of class, and then we selected one poem to read. I got to listen to all of their class's poetry and I even got to read them my poem.

When the bell rang for the last time of the year, my teacher caught me on the way out and ask edif I was moving for sure or not. I told her nothing was for sure yet but that it looked very probable, and gave her a brief synopsis of the progress. She said, "Well then, I guess we have to say goodbye--I mean for real, because if you move I might not see you for a very long time." It made me sad. She's my favorite teach that I've ever had (and at conferences she told my parents that I was her favorite student that she'd ever had. :D)

It's just kind of sad, but I've always known that moving, if it happens, will be very hard. Leaving these wonderful people will probably be the hardest thing I've ever done.

a little something...

2008-05-21T21:22:17Z

"A war is never won. Even if you win a war ... you lose it."

Lebanon's not going back there.
Things are going to get better.

It's just a feeling I've had for a while, and now it seems to be coming into a small form of fruition.

7abibtak @ 2008-05-21T13:08:00

2008-05-21T18:31:30Z

It just seems like there's so much good news today. I can't believe it.

An agreement at the talks in Doha
Israel and Syria starting peace talks
Obama has the nomination pretty much clenched
AND a projected eight-point lead over McCain in November.... (And before people start jumping me saying that I only support Obama because of his charisma and "don't know what he really stands for"--let me tell you that I actually have researched his stances, and the main reason that I support him is something most people don't even know about. Although, I am angry that he doesn't support the right of return and won't talk to Hamas directly. Still. In my opinion, it's better than anyone else running for President, besides Ralph Nader, who just isn't electable. Unfortunately.)

Also, my father was offered the job, but the initial salary offer wasn't acceptable. We were pretty much expecting that, and they're going to negotiate. At this point, it could still go either way. And with the way negotiations have been going recently worldwide, things ought to work out nicely. =] I'm not sure how that logic works, but I like it.

I'm just happy, because this is the first time in my life I can remember there being this much good news all at one time. Granted, it's still outweighed by the bad news--as is to be expected--what with Senator Kennedy, the quake-damaged dams in China, the economy... well, you know. But this makes me feel hopeful. I'm actually excited for the future, because for the first time it looks like it might be getting better.

I think my dad just called. Gotta go. ♥

excitement.

2008-05-19T01:06:07Z

The suspense is killing me.

We're going to (most probably) find out the final verdict from the bank tomorrow.
And I have a giant project due tomorrow.
Good thing it's all just busy work.
But still.

Can't.

Concentrate.

Gah.

peut-être

2008-05-17T05:04:29Z

I only have time for a short note, when the time is taken into consideration.

Despite everything, my dad's job search is going very well. We're all trying not to be too excited, because still anything could happen, but the general air of things is very positive at this point.

Once again despite everything, my father has managed to get to two interview this week for the same bank. They've gone very well--and the interviewers were rather impressed that he stuck around throughout this whole thing, too--and tomorrow he has a meeting with the president of said bank to discuss salary options.

Good good good.
But not too good.
I'm not going to go get my hopes up just yet. :)

Still, I'm a perhaps naively firm believer in the Law of Attraction and I'm unashamed at that. I've been believing this could happen for a long while now, if only just to try and increase our chances of it actually happening.

a poem

2008-05-14T20:46:28Z

The Four Candles, Author Unknown

The Four Candles burned slowly.
Their Ambiance was so soft you
could hear them speak...

The first candle said, "I Am Peace, but these days, nobody
wants to keep me lit." Then Peace's flame slowly
diminishes and goes out completely.

The second candle says, "I Am Faith, but these days, I am
no longer indispensable." Then Faith's flame slowly
diminishes and goes out completely.

Sadly the third candle spoke, "I Am Love and I haven't the
strength to stay lit any longer."
"People put me aside and don't understand my
importance. They even forget to love those who are
nearest to them." And waiting no longer, Love goes out
completely.

Suddenly...A child enters the room and sees the three
candles no longer burning. The child begins to cry, "Why
are you not burning? You are supposed to stay lit until the
end."

Then the Fourth Candle spoke gently to the little boy,
"Don't be afraid, for I Am Hope, and while I still burn, we
can re-light the other candles."

With Shining eyes the child took the Candle of Hope and
lit the other three candles.

Never let the Flame of Hope go out of your life.
With Hope, no matter how bad things look and
are...Peace, Faith and Love can Shine Brightly in our lives.

7abibtak @ 2008-05-13T22:38:00

2008-05-14T03:40:13Z

The moments when I get messages from you telling me that you're thinking of me, that you miss me and that you love me are what keep me sane.
Life was so much harder before you were in it.
I need to see you this summer. ♥

7abibtak @ 2008-05-12T15:57:00

2008-05-12T21:11:44Z

I hope that each one of you has (or will have) someone who can say exactly the right thing, even from across an ocean and a sea. I hope that each one of you can find someone who will always make you smile.

It's just been so stressful recently. My father's gone, school is coming to an end and I have to race to get everything done. I have finals to study for on top of that. My AP test was friday; that was stressful. It's been such gloomy weather, which normally I don't mind, but I want it to go away some time. Everyone has been at each other's throats at home, a fact fed by my bipolar mother's latest episode. I've been missing my love so badly recently. I've been on such an emotional roller coaster ride with the happenings in Lebanon, which is feeding everything else that is putting me in a bad mood.

I picked up a book I'd been meaning to read, just to drown it all out. It was a Paulo Coelho book, and all I knew of it was that its main theme was to be true to yourself. Twenty pages into it, I had to put it down. There is no escape. Coelho had masterfully painted a picture of the main character's childhood in Beirut, and the start of the civil war that forced them to leave. The last line I read spoke of how the problems continued still. No escape. (How do these things find me? I've never believed in coincidences.)

But it doesn't even really matter anymore. I got home and read the message he'd sent me, comforting me, and telling me how much he missed me. Everything he said was exactly what I needed and I couldn't ask for more. I hope you all find someone like that.

♥

7abibtak @ 2008-05-11T23:11:00

2008-05-12T04:29:15Z

It's better today, he said over the phone. He went out, there were very few people around, but there were people. And they weren't shooting guns. He went down to a restaurant we'd eaten at last time there, and it was full of people. Good sign. He said it was strange being in Beirut again with fighting going on. "Deja vu?" I asked. Kind of, but different. It felt different.

There's another man over there that I miss even more than my father. I miss him more than anyone else and I'd give my world to see him, if just for a day. He promised me he'd take me to the sea and show me the parts of Lebanon I've yet to see. I'm not discouraged. I might just be insane, but I still want this. Mr. Fisk doesn't believe there will be a civil war, and I trust him. I've met him face to face numerous times and we have a rapport. :) But beyond that, he's smart and he's been in Lebanon a long time. He knows that country as well as any Lebanese--better than many, I'd venture to say. It's not going to be wonderful. It's probably not even going to be good. But I don't care.

Here is what I was thinking the other day, even before all of this happened:
I could make a life here. There are plenty of boys who'd like to date me, and one or two I might even have fun dating. I could go to a college here, maybe one up in Boston where my aunt and uncle live, or Baylor in Texas with khaltu sheila, or maybe Vanderbilt with my cousin. I could get a job in some city I have family in. Find a cultured American man. Settle down.

I could do that. It wouldn't be a bad life. But what passion would there be? What meaning? What inspiration? I suppose I could find a cause to work on here, but nothing would be as true. That life would lack the spirit. That life would be a shadow.

I could go to Lebanon. I could risk war and unrest and all sorts of crises. I could be with my Mazen, whom I adore more than anyone I've ever met and always have since we first met. And regardless of what happens between us, that time spent with him would be worth everything. I could go to AUB (at least for undergrad school... I'll need to go somewhere out of the country for grad school, surely, but I will come back). I could get a job at a university in Beirut, and even if it's in the most modest way I could help that country. And by God, it wouldn't be easy. That place, ya lebnan! But it would be worth it. If things get horrible at times, there will be other times when they're just as good. My life would have that element that makes it all worth it, in the long run.

How do I know this? Because it feels right, more right than anything else. And essentially that's all I have to go on.

Maybe I'm just crazy. In which case, Lebanon would suit me just fine.

7abibtak @ 2008-05-09T13:37:00

2008-05-09T18:52:05Z

I had my AP test this morning, three hours locked up in a room thinking about American History and analyzing political cartoons while all I want to know is what's going on now. I remember a year ago being so upset about Nahr el-Bared and having to take my English final. A year later, it's the same feeling, ten-fold, an AP test and threats of civil war.

My father is staying in the Mayflower, a shelter to journalists throughout the civil war. He's seen worse fighting, so I'm not worried about him. Last week this time we were at the airport, sending him off, filled with so much hope of a life in Lebanon. I felt so close to walks on the Corniche, shopping at ABC mall, the smell of exhaust and arguilli smoke.... A week later, what am I to do? There is a horrible feeling not knowing what's going to happen to Lebanon.

I hate this senseless violence. Before I was born my family was forced to leave during the civil war. In 2006 we were so close to moving back, as my father had been wanting to do for two decades. Then the war. Now. Now we are so close and this is happening.

Another thing that's gnawing at me is that I have no idea what it's like. I don't know what it's like to be hearing the sound of gunfire and rocket-propelled grenades, I don't know what that fear is like. It's not that I want to know, for who in their right mind would want that? It's just that I cannot understand the pain that is wracking that country. I can't understand what it's like and for some reason I feel that makes me less qualified to love Lebanon like I do.

omg, who's that?

2008-04-30T02:26:38Z

Okay, so I know I've been absolutely horrible about commenting AND updating. As you may have come to notice, I do have brief periods of inactivity like this. =] However, I do still read my friends list and I send a big hug to each of you, and plenty of nice thoughts.

I have learned one thing during my break.
If one of your close friends ever confesses their love for you and the feelings are not returned you must:
1) Tell them you're not interested before your mutual friends start telling them all about the one guy you like, exaggerating the age difference.
2) Get them to admit they're shy sometimes.
3) After step two is accomplished, promptly give them a "dwarf" name (akin to Bashful from Snow White) that is a variant of the word shy. It helps to tell them yours and your friends' first.

They won't feel so badly afterwards. =]

inshalla!

2008-04-10T02:54:53Z

May second is my dad's last day at his current job.

He has a back up job that starts two weeks after that.

In between he's going to Lebanon to interview for jobs there, inshalla. It's not finalized and no tickets have been bought yet.

I asked if I could go, even though I knew the answer. It's too much money, and I can't miss school.

But still, it's not fair that my father gets to go and even possibly see him while I'M the one in love with him. I've never felt as safe as I did when he was near, and it's been nearly two years. I think every day about him and when I get to see him next. And Lebanon. I need to see Lebanon again.

But by going he's furthering our chances of actually getting there, and I am so so happy he is going (inshalla!)... ya rab, min fadlek....

la illaha illAllah

2008-04-07T00:54:14Z

This secret found in ljsecret and this song sum up my relationship with God.
I'm becoming more comfortable with not knowing and just having faith.

Of course, the differences are I never had a dream like that, never was an atheist, and I am convinced.

just a quickie ;)

2008-04-04T21:44:33Z

Dear Jenn,

I don't really know how to tell you this, but our romance is over. I think I realized it when you put cuffs on me in your closet and ignored Manchester United's goal keeper.

I'm sure you're man enough to understand that your pimples are at the last stage.

I'm returning your love letters to you, but I'll keep your left ear as a memory.

You should also know that I always will remember to hate the Boston Celtics.

Fuck off now,

Loren

Stolen from sefiroto. =]

Dear (the person who last texted/messaged you),

I don't really know how to tell you this, but ___1___. I think I realized it ___2___ ___3___ and ___4___ ___5___.

I'm sure you're ___6___ enough to understand ___7___.

I'm returning ___8___ to you, but I'll keep ___9___ as a memory.

You should also know that I ___10___ ___11___.

___12___,

-Your name-

1. What's the color of your shirt?
Blue - Our romance is over
Red - Our affair is over
White - I'll join the monastery
Black - I dislike you
Green - Our horoscope doesn't match
Grey - You're a pervert
Yellow - I'm selling myself
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
Brown - The mafia wants you
No shirt - You're a loser
Other - I'm in love with your sister

2. Which is your birth month?
January - That night
February - Last year
March - When your dwarf bit me
April - When I tripped on sesame seeds
May - First of May
June - When you put cuffs on me
July - When I threw up
August - When I saw the shrunken head
September - When we skinny dipped
October - When I quoted Santa
November - When your dog ran amok
December - When I changed tennis shoes

3. Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - In your apartment
Pizza - In your camping car
Pasta - Outside of Chicago
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad - As you ate enchilada
Chicken - In your closet
Kebab - With Paris Hilton
Fish - In women's clothing
Sandwiches - At the Hare Krishna graduation
Lasagna - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under a state of trance
Annat - With George Bush and his wife

4. What's the color of your socks?
Yellow - Hit on
Red - Insulted
Black - Ignored
Blue - Knocked out
Purple - Poured syrup on
White - Carved your initials into
Grey - Pulled the clothes off
Brown - Put leeches on
Orange - Castrated
Pink - Pulled the toupee off
Barefoot - Sat at
Other - Drive out

5. What's the color of your underwear?
Black - My best friend
White - My father
Grey - Bill Clinton
Brown - My fart balloon
Purple - My mustard soufflé
Red - Donald Duck
Blue - My avocado plant
Yellow - My penpal in Ghana
Orange - My Kid Rock-collection
Pink - Manchester United's goalkeeper
None - My John F. Kennedy-statue
Other - The crazy monk

6. What do you prefer to watch on TV?
Scrubs - Man
O.C. - Emotional
One Tree Hill - Open
Heroes -Frostbitten
Lost - High
House -Scarred
Simpsons - Cowardly
The news - Mongolic
Idol - Masochistic
Family Guy - Senile
Top Model - Middle-class
Annat - Ashamed

7. Your mood right now?
Happy - How awful I've felt
Sad - How boring you are
Bored - That Santa doesn't exist
Angry - That your pimples are at the last stage
Depressed - That we're cousins
Excited - That there is no solution to this.
Nervous - The middle-east
Worried - That your Honda sucks
Apathetic - That I did a sex-change
Ashamed - That I'm allergic to your hamster
Cuddly - That I get turned on by garbage men
Overjoyous - That I'm open
Other - That Extreme Home Makeover sucks

8. What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
White - Your ring
Yellow - Your love letters
Red - Your Darth Vader-poster
Black - Your tame stone
Blue - The couch cushions
Green - The pictures from LA
Orange - Your false teeth
Brown - Your contact book
Grey - Our matching snoopy-bibs
Purple - Your old lottery coupons
Pink - The cut toenails
Other - Your memories from the military service

9. The first letter of your first name?
A/B - Your photo
C/D - The oil stocks
E/F - Your neighbour Martin
G/H - My virginity
I/J - The results of blood-sample
K/L - Your left ear
M/N - Your suicide note
O/P - My common sense
Q/R - Your mom
S/T - Your collection of butterflies
U/V - Your criminal record
W/X - David's tricot outfits
Y/Z - Your grades from college

10. The last letter in your last name?
A/B - Always will remember
C/D - Never will forget
E/F - Always wanted to break
G/H - Never openly mocked
I/J - Always have felt dirty before
K/L - Will tell the authorities about
M/N - Told in my confession today about
O/P - Was interviewed by the Times about
Q/R - Told my psychiatrist about
S/T - Get sick when I think of
U/V - Always will try to forget
W/X - Am better off without
Y/Z - Never liked

11. What do you prefer to drink?
Water- Our friendship
Beer - Senility
Soft drink - A new life as a clone
Soda - The incarnation as an eskimo
Milk - The apartment building
Wine - Cocaine abuse
Cider - A passionate interest for mice
Juice - Oprah Winfrey imitations
Mineral water - Embarrassing rash
Hot chocolate - Eggplant-fetishism
Whisky - To ruin the second world war
Other - To hate the Boston Celtics

12. To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Thailand - Warm regards
USA - Best regards
England - Good luck on your short-term leave from jail
Spain - Go and drown yourself
China - Disgusting regards
Germany - With ease
Japan - Go burn
Greece - Your everlasting enemy
Australia - Greetings to your frog Leonard
Egypt - Fuck off now
France - In pain
Other - Greetings to your freaky family

I'm off to school again now. Our school is having a mini Relay for Life, and as the sole member of the registration committee, I get to sit at a desk for four hours greeting everyone and signing people up. :D

disappointed together

2008-04-02T21:55:52Z

One of those days. What with the doing nothing and doing so much... researching and writing about things I don't want to know about. If this time was given to me to do with what I will, I could be productive. I'm not saying I would be, necessarily, but I could be. And I probably would have much greater incentive to be productive if I didn't always feel like I was taking a break from working on something else. I could study what I wanted to... Arabic, French, Middle Eastern history, Psychology... instead of being stuck with required courses that end up draining me more than much else. I'm just going to forget all of this stuff after I've taken the finals. Except for in a few subjects. Like French, AP US History, and English. But that's all I can think of, which is kind of sad.

I would like to go to the mountains and look up at the sky. It's so much closer from there, you can almost touch it. And this time, if I stretch enough, I might just catch a star. I'd put it on my dresser and talk to it at night about all of the history it's seen. I could learn my history that way.

April showers

2008-03-31T23:26:15Z

It's been raining so much here.
Everything is wet, the air is thick, and
patches of grass are bright, bright green.

But what I like most is seeing the sky in the street.

7abibtak @ 2008-03-30T01:43:00

2008-03-30T06:44:13Z

After nearly two years of loving you from afar...
never expecting anything...
never letting you know...
Who would have thought you'd be in love with me too?
But I'm oh so happy you are. ♥
Despite everything.

ya 7abibi

2008-03-25T21:40:49Z

I'm talking with you right now over MSN.
We talked for hours yesterday, and you pulled my heart right out and made me know it was yours.
... Whether you knew it or not.
I was frightened to talk to you again at first.
I don't know why, but I hadn't talked to you in a year and ten months.
Maybe I was afraid that I'd made you into something you weren't in my head as a nice memory to cling to.
But oh, I was wrong.
You're everything I remember and so much more.
inta 7abibi, wa 3omri, wa 2albi
I asked you if you could see the sea...
you said you saw it everyday. You said it was your friend.
I told you that where I live, we are hundreds of miles away from the ocean.
"Oh baby," you said, "when you come back I'll take you every day to the sea."
And you told me you were waiting for me.

Still, I was afraid today to push the button and say hi.
I don't know why.
You just make my heart beat faster.
You didn't take anytime to respond
my love hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
My heart fluttered.

I know it would be silly to want anything right now when I'm over 6000 miles away.
But when you say things to me like
my love
my angel
ya 2albi...
You make me so happy.
I'm happy you're in my life in whatever form you choose to take.

There's so much more I could say, but the bottom line is
You make me feel like flying.

And now we're talking about love. ♥

7abibtak @ 2008-03-22T15:48:00

2008-03-22T21:58:44Z

I received a message on my fun wall from a friend wishing everyone Happy Easter.

"Hi all happy easter but please do not forget to pray for the people they need your prayers especially in lebanon"

In the shower, I got down on my knees and prayed.
It felt like I was somewhere else, alone and naked in the summer rain.
It was beautiful.

You should try it sometime. :]
& Happy Easter. But don't forget to pray for the people... especially in Lebanon.

7abibtak @ 2008-03-21T19:57:00

2008-03-22T01:02:03Z

No longer friends only. I really don't mind that much.

I kind of like it when plans for the day don't work out
and I just sit around.
But not really, because that's when thinking too much becomes an issue.

There is someone I should not have gotten back into contact with because now missing him is so much harder.
But it's so nice to know that he misses me too.
He's the one person that can make me smile no matter what
even 6000 miles away.
And he is also the one person that tells me the things I need to hear.

"God is with us." "I'm with you always." "I know you can do great things."

He's wonderful, and very far away.

Spring break is coming to a close today, and I have a lot of work I should have done, but I didn't.
I still have the weekend!

oh my world - don't fall apart

2007-12-29T03:31:32Z

We lost another one yesterday.

I remember the day Yasser Arafat died. It felt like this.

Go lightly down your darkened way
Go lightly underground
I’ll be down there in another day
I won’t rest until you’re found

Let me love you, let me rescue you
Let me lead you to where two roads meet
O come back above
Where there is only love
Only love...